A Candle in the Darkness

Life has tried to beat me down lately.

True statement.

I always feel things deeply and personally, sometimes before big things even take place. It’s hard to explain how I can have a dream or even just a thought, and immediately feel these emotions before I even know what they mean. I do know that God warns me if only I’d be still and listen. He has a plan and always reveals it to me when He is ready, if I’d just stop over-thinking everything and acting like a basket case.

This past month, depression has dragged me to places in my mind that I never imagined I’d go. I was overtaken and consumed by lies from the enemy in my mind. I lost control of my emotions and essentially my ability to function, much less listen to God. Past the point of rationality. I isolated myself because I couldn’t pull it together. My mind raced in anticipation and nothing had even happened yet! I’d just had a dream, and while it was terrifying and shook me to the core, it was just a dream and I felt that my reaction was extreme and basically a bit silly.

But just when I thought I was going to be stuck there, I was reminded that even the smallest light can chase away the darkness.

This week, especially, has been an emotional rollercoaster of anger, disappointment, bitterness, betrayal, loss, heartache… just to name a few…but it’s also been a very needed time of renewal for me. To help me refocus on my priorities.

I have studied more scripture in the past week than I probably have ever and my soul is on fire! I refuse to be defeated and overwhelmed by negative emotions. I refuse to let other’s choices hinder my walk with the Lord. I am so thankful for this cleansing season and for opening my eyes and heart to His truth and promises.

It only takes one small flicker of light…a tiny glimpse of hope…to get me off the (literal) floor and back into life. As Christian’s, we are in a constant spiritual battle and the devil comes to “steal, kill and destroy” all that we stand for. He will steal away our time with the Lord…time with our families. He will kill our dreams and cause our hearts to be hardened. He will destroy love, which is the very foundation of all that we believe. He will highlight the flaws and shortcomings of this world and it’s people, and cause us to harbor feelings such as anger and bitterness towards them, although we often fall short of perfection ourselves, don’t we?

That’s been a hard lesson for me.

Are people sometimes selfish and inconsiderate? You bet! Do people often run over me like I’m not even there…not even hesitating for a moment to consider how their actions affect me or my family? Oh, absolutely! But I’m not their judge, just as they are not mine…(thank goodness).

Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

This particular scripture has really stuck with me this week and has served as a great reminder that He is for us. He is our REFUGE and STRENGTH!!! He is EVER-present HELP in trouble.

He doesn’t leave us. He doesn’t show up sometimes, if the occasion is worthy…he is ever-present. So why is it so hard to let Him help? To trust in His greater plan? To be led instead of trying to do it all on our own? Why do we let our emotions lead us into making choices without listening to Him first?

I’ll let you all ask yourselves those questions and then refer back to that scripture to check your response, just as I have.

My prayer for each of you, and for myself, is that we will make our relationship with Him our number one priority and we will filter our emotions and decisions through His word. If they don’t line up, then it’s not of God. It’s from Satan and he is up to no good. Working to steal, kill and destroy all that you live for. Guard your heart and mind. We have been given the full armor of God, we just have to put it to work!

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